My pet pig loves to wrap himself up completely in a blanket. I always say he’s a piggy burrito when he does that. I noticed a few weeks ago that I wrap myself up in a blanket burrito when I start to fall in one of my depressive states.
It starts out with me binging tv (Netflix, episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, RomComs I’ve watched 100 times), then I notice the pyramid of cups I have collected on the coffee table, dirty dishes I stacked on the counter, and empty boxes of prepared foods I just warmed up. Pretty soon I realize that I’ve been wrapped up in a blanket burrito for the past week or two.
Then the depression guilt kicks in. I feel guilty for letting myself get to this point so quickly without realizing it. I feel guilty that I’m not working, yet my husband works 50+ hours a week. Yet, he had to come home to this disaster I’ve created. I feel guilty because I can’t remember the last time I made a meal with real ingredients. I don’t remember when was the last time I shaved my legs (which I normally do twice a week or more).
When the guilt takes over, it makes it even more difficult for me to get out of my blanket burrito and change my behaviors. It’s almost like I become glued to the couch or my bed or even my bathtub. Sometimes it takes more than just me to pull myself together. My husband has to actually say, “babe, let’s go shower. Let’s clean up the kitchen together. Let’s make dinner.” I’m #blessed because after some time he will realize that I’m not in a good place. He’ll put aside his frustration, and he will help unwrap my blanket burrito.
I think this is what people mean to “check on your friends”. When you have a friend who disappears, no longer wants you over, calls/texts, or just may look a little different than normal, it may be a signal to MAKE the do something. Force them to hang out. Drop off a little goodie bag with their typical self care items. Heck, go over and tell them you’re going to help make them dinner or clean up their kitchen. There is a difference between laziness and depression; sometimes you just need someone to help unwrap yourself from your blanket burrito to get your life back for a few more weeks.
My Depression Sessions 